God-given friendships in the church deserve to be looked after. They’re the kind of friendships you want to deeply cling onto for life. I’m twenty and have made some wonderful friendships during my time serving and loving those in the church. The most beautiful thing is not that you’re just friends because you gather in the same place every Sunday; or that you both live nearby. It’s the fact you love Jesus which unites you. You gather under the same name. You worship the same name. Let’s make that the reason to work for the friendship.
Keep Jesus at the core
Whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, keep Jesus at the centre. I find that my best friendships are the ones where we can pray together, encourage with words of scripture, and talk endlessly about the goodness of God. It also means that if either of you encounter a season of difficultly, you can back each other up in a blanket of prayer. Through the tough and great times, a friendship where Jesus is made centre will last. You’ll begin to see each other like Jesus does and love conditionally. Yes of course I have many friendships with those unchurched, but with sisterhood and my christian friends, there’s something different. I know I’m building something which will last, because we are building our friendships on the foundation of Christ.
Bring out the best in each other
I love to encourage my best friends. Text them a bible verse for the week, and let them know how great they are doing. A healthy friendship isn’t governed by jealously, or gossip or talking badly about one another. As christians we are called to be in the world but not of it- so that means we should try not to do what the world does. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in situations with worldly friends where all they do is gossip. Something I thought was ‘normal’ because the glossy magazines make it the norm, has now become something which makes my spirit uncomfortable. Let’s not gossip with or about one another, but instead life each other up and bring out the best.
Be All In
When people in the world let me down, upset me or don’t except me for who I am, I can rest assured in knowing that my church family will be there. They’ll lift me up with scriptures, prayers and encouragement fuelled by the word of God. The secrets to a sisterhood that functions healthily is to always be there for one another- no matter the cost or season. The sisterhood is an ‘All In’ kind of community. Having a sister who goes above and beyond to care, love and serve relentlessly is a gift worth holding onto.
Forgive as Christ forgave
We’re humans- we mess up and make mistakes. If we live holding onto those mistakes it will rob us of joy for today and a hope for tomorrow. Things happen in close relationships, but we don’t let them define us. There are many times when I’ve been hurt, but I use the season to strengthen me and the friendship. If we forgive like Christ forgave us then we begin to treat our situations of struggle far differently. Unforgiveness is bitter- it will hold you captive. Choose to let go. The church- a place with so many faces- will have its problems too, but when we choose to face those problems in a Christ-like way, everything changes.
Give each other room to breathe
There aren’t many things that bring me joy like going for dinner with my best friend. After a long and tiresome week it’s one of the only ways I can fully relax. But we don’t do it often. And that’s what makes it special. We embrace space, we honour that we both have working lives and can’t spend every second together. When we do meet it makes the time together more precious. Catching up over a coffee or a meal once every two weeks becomes more valued than if it were done everyday. Friendships need room to breathe; room to grow.
By Lisa Walden