I was lucky enough to interview the wonderful Karin Cooke, founder of the Porn Scars conference. She tirelessly works to promote the damaging effects of porn and highlight the issue as well as offering valuable insight on just how big and deep the problem is. Karin is also on the senior leadership team for Freedom Church, Hereford and has worked professionally in social work as well as being a devoted mother and wife. Here’s what she had to say on porn….
What first grabbed your attention about the topic and how did it develop into a passion?
Having worked for a voluntary sector organization delivering Self Esteem, Relationship and Sex Education into local High Schools it became more and more apparent that I was in a competition with internet pornography in providing sex education for teenagers. This disturbed me and a few schools agreed for me to deliver some awareness sessions within schools but many didn’t. Unfortunately in March 2010 the funding was cut to our organization and it closed. This left me with an issue, I had now been made aware of the level of engagement with porn amongst teenagers with no way of being able to address this issue in schools. I researched this thoroughly and approached a colleague of mine who had worked for the same organization and we both decided to do something about it. Namely the ‘Porn Scars Conference‘
What do you think are the dangers of allowing pornography into your life?
Without a doubt, the intent of porn is to stimulate lust and gratify sexual fantasies. Porn exploits the female body. Porn does not respect a woman’s body as belonging to a person, but sees it as a money-making product by capitalising on men’s self-interest and sexual appetite. Not only is porn addictive, it also escalates. The average age of first exposure to internet porn is 11 years. We are therefore seeing before us a whole generation of young men being exposed to body punishing, often violent, degrading sex and accepting it as the norm.
Why do you think it’s so acceptable for young people to watch porn, but so taboo to admit it’s a struggle?
Increasingly over the years sex has become less of a taboo subject and certainly within teenagers there is less of an embarrassment to talk about sex. Porn is addictive and certain scientific research backs this view. So when a child starts watching porn at the age of 11 for example, it is seen as a bit of fun and so videos are openly shared amongst lads in schools. It becomes more of a taboo and struggle when those boys get older and realize they cannot do without porn and in fact they are now addicted. Basically men have linked an erection with hard core porn and when they then engage in a “real” relationship with a “real” woman difficulties arise.
What would your advice be to someone thinking of watching porn?
Don’t do it!! I would say the same to someone who is considering taking cannabis or heroin. It may be fun to start with but later down the line you have no idea what damage will have been done.
What would you say to someone who felt addicted to porn or compelled to watch it daily?
Get help! If you are a Christian then find someone that you trust and that will not judge you and get them to work through it with you in prayer and counsel to find freedom. If you are not a Christian again if you cannot stop this alone then it is vital that you tell someone. This could be your GP, counsellor, or friend. Get help don’t live through this addiction on your own.
What do you think the antidote to porn is?
I would also say an antidote to porn for both singles and marrieds, is accountability. Have someone in your life that you are accountable to. Give them permission to speak into your life and ask those awkward questions. For young people it is essential that schools provide good and up to date sex education. This is currently not a statutory part of the national curriculum and I will be fighting to make sure that SRE becomes a statutory part of what young people learn at school.
What would you say to someone working in the sex industry?
Girls who work in the sex industry are there for a whole range of different reasons. Some are coerced into and some are damaged by a lifetime of abuse or neglect that they are manipulated into it.
Very few girls grow up as little girls wanting to be prostitutes or porn stars. If I was sitting in a room with a girl who was involved in the sex industry, I would want to be a listening ear. I would want her to tell me her story, I would want to tell her there is another way and I would want to encourage her that there is a better life. However, before I would do any of that I would say sorry that I didn’t champion this cause earlier, that I didn’t fight for her earlier and that if I had then maybe just maybe she wouldn’t be where she was today.
Massive thanks to Karin for her time and effort in sharing her passion with me. What a pace setter! It’s truly an honour to stand alongside such passionate people willing to step out in faith to see freedom in others lives.