Let’s be honest: we have ALL been unfaithful in our lives at some time or another. We have all “cheated” on someone that we loved. Infidelity is a subject that can be applied to many areas of interest in our lives not just a physical person. Many men- and women for that matter-cheat on their spouse or significant other with their job, their friends and other obligations outside of their relationship. Infidelity in any way can be extremely detrimental to the health of a relationship.
We are living in a new day where the concept of monogamy is equal to that of a death sentence. It’s permissible, understandable and even frowned upon if a young man (or woman) doesn’t experiment or have many sexual or intimate relationships. How does one know what he wants unless he or she has a look around the block a few times to figure it out? The moment that you become accountable to someone other than yourself, submit yourself to the desires of another, or sacrifice your own needs for those of another, marks the end of your life and freedom as we know it; a frightening concept for young women and men now to come to terms with.
God’s will for us concerning relationships is to pursue every venture with the respect of marriage. I had a youth pastor say that we should honor every relationship through the lens of marriage. He used the verse (Hebrews 13:4) “Marriage is to be held in honor by among all” – even the dating. God wired us with the desire to have a companion that we can love and share the beautiful gift of intimacy and family with. God himself longed to have companionship, so he created us. Naturally, because we’re created in his image and likeness, we long for the things that our heavenly father longed for. God saw that “it [was] not good for man to be alone” (Gen 2:18), so he created woman and created the beginning of the covenant that we call marriage. “ For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh”. (Gen 2:24)
What do you do you do when a part of you is given to someone else?
Ladies: Cover that individual with prayer. As hard as it may be, if you feel that this man is who God purposed for you in marriage and lifetime partnership, you cleave to that which is good and go to a someone (i.e. a pastor/councilor) who can offer you Godly council. Consult the Lord, I know without a shadow of doubt that he will answer you and your prayers. Pray for their destiny and yours and ask him to turn both of your hearts back to him. Seeking godly council is the best medicine: if you go to the source of life and the giver of every good thing: you will NEVER leave with an empty cup.
Fellas: I can only imagine how hard it is to not only be a man but also, be a man of God. The only advice I can give to you is you do all that you can to do what the bible says concerning faithfulness, love and giving it to your woman.
“Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle…but husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself; for no one hates his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it just as Christ does also the church.” (Ephesians 5:25-29)
In other words, if you love her, give yourself up for her. Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ was faithful until death for us. His willingness to do so in turn, magnified Him and made Him higher than any other. You have to be willing to let your lusts and earthly desires go, so you may possess the greater part of what God has for you.
What If I’ve done it already?
Fellas: Know that you are ALREADY forgiven; the Lord is merciful and willing and able. All you have to do is ask! J. Moss and Tye Tribbett are individuals known for preaching, singing, writing songs and performing to the glory of the Lord. These men have also suffered and endured the repercussions of infidelity only to come out graciously and more strong on the other side with their families intact. (And two AMAZING albums to prove it!) Both of these men have been EXTREMELY transparent in their struggles, and have been graciously eager to share in their trials and struggles to encourage other young men, women, and families that are dealing with the same issue. You can access their live raw and uncut interviews from following these links. (Tye Tribbett) (J Moss)
Their testimonies tell us all the preemptive measures to stay away from infidelity: admitting that you are being tempted, communicating with your spouse/other about the problem, seeking godly wisdom and council and finally, fleeing the temptation. Joyce Meyer once said, “Lust has no conscience.” Lust is a living and breathing thing; you can kill something living if you starve it. Don’t feed your lustful desires starve them and flee.
Remember that we are battling against two natures the spiritual and the flesh. (Romans 7:14-25) but thanks be to God through Christ Jesus we have a blameless example to follow. Know that “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide a way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” (1 Cor 10:13) My advice to you my friend, LOOK FOR THE ESACPE HATCH! Understand also, we as children of God are always called to a higher and better standard, but God knows we will mess up and need his help and guidance. If you’ve been unfaithful, it’s not the end for you with God or your partner! David may have made a mistake with obtaining Bathsheba as a wife, but then God gave him Solomon.
We are called to be better, but when we fall short God is always waiting patiently for us to return to Him. He can bless your mess.
My great-grandparents were married for fifty-nine years before my great-grandfather passed away. They loved each other with abandon and ferocity. Aspirations for my adult life were based upon the seventeen years I was able to observe their marriage. They knew and possessed a part of each other that none of us would ever fully comprehend because it was divine. Although they were often asked how their relationship stood the test of time, their answer was always the same. There are times when one person gives or loves a bit harder than the other. Their love and relationship was in no way perfect, but the glue that holding it together in tough and trying times was the unfailing, unconditional and infallible love of God. Be encouraged! Although this is a different time, the power of God is still the same yesterday, today and forever more. His power can prosper you and your relationship even though society, people, and the circumstances around you indicate the contrary. Stay strong! God Bless you!
Written By: Kristina Love
Tweet Me: @klovesda
Visit Kris’ Personal Blog HERE