Sex in the City is one of the most successful TV franchises of all time followed a group of successful, independent New York women and BFF’s. The show challenged not only the views of sex but of women’s relationships with men. With Samantha the feisty and independent sex-aholic of the bunch, the tables were turned on stereotypes of women sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to come and sweep them off her Jimmy Choo’s. The message was clear and has been adopted by everyone from TLC to Rihanna; women can take the lead with relationships with men. But should they? As Christian women should you be going out to get your man or should you be the one foundeth by Mr Right?
This man hunting trend sounds very liberating but as Proverbs says, there is nothing new under the sun. Times change and the world is always exploring new ideas and recycling old ones. With the growing independence and liberation of women the challenge surely is what this means in how they relate to guys right? If I’m ‘paying my own bill’s’ as Destiny’s Child sang then why should I give a ‘scrub’ the time of day? After all if he liked it than ‘he should have put a ring on it’ right? Ok I’ll stop! With this in mind when the only guy’s who aren’t intimidated to approach high flying sista’s are the kind that you’d rather look at through a cage then is it unreasonable to go guy hunting? Hmmm…
Society is in constant motion, its worldview changing all the time, whereas the Bible, Gods word is static. It doesn’t move. God doesn’t do flava of the month or consult Cosmopolitan Magazine for tips and lifestyle advice.
Am I saying that approaching a guy for a date is wrong? Maybe, maybe not, but it isn’t straight forward and I’m letting you decide this one yourselves. The Bible does say that ‘HE who finds a wife finds a good thing‘; in a world of Samantha’s that sounds terribly old skool and even the romantic Carrie would balk at this. But lets look at the reasoning behind God’s truth first. This quote from Proverbs 18 v22 precedes the discussion in chapter 33 about the ideal woman whose virtues make her the best gift this side of Christmas; industrious, resourceful, spiritual and not a mention of which seasons garm’s she’s dressed in.
You see the emphasis is on what quality of person the woman should be not for a man but for her own life is the key; if a man does not value you enough to warrant his attention then he can take or leave you. A man’s heart is won by what he recognises will enrich his life and he will move heaven and earth to make room for that he deems precious. Now don’t get me wrong, showing initiative is good like striking up a deep friendship but desperation can be the true motivator behind that harmless webchat and BB pin offered to the cute guy at the concert.
The Bible talks of the Husband as being the leader of the family, responsible for the spiritual direction of his family. Men are expected to love their wives like Christ loved the church, so no pressure eh guys? Seriously ladies you want this kind of guy, someone who is passionate about you and having a vision for your lives not a guy who is half hearted and passive. I’ve come across many relationships where the women are firecrackers and the men are damp squids with no passion and the passionate women in their lives wish that they had a man who had a spark, and a pulse. In short if you had to take the wheel at the start of the ride what makes you think he will drive after marriage?
Whichever century we are in, God’s idea is still the best; work on your own inner beauty and invest in your future and you will attract the best things in your life including a life partner. The worse case scenario is that you’re single but completely fulfilled in life, as a man will never make you happy by himself; he should be the cherry not the cake. Surely the issue is the quality of your life and how to live out your God ordained purpose whether as a team player or flying solo, after all the best things in life are worth waiting for.
Written By Antony Aris-Osula
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