To My Dearest Beautiful Daughter,
Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free. – Stormie Omartian
When you walk in the chains of un-forgiveness it can often leave you with a heavy heart, feeling imprisoned with negative influences on your decisions. At some point in our lives we will no doubt be hurt, rejected, offended and lonely among other things, however after we encounter these feelings it’s up to us to decide what we do with them and how we make future decisions based on previous situations.
Take me for example, I was brought up in a single parent house hold with an amazing example for a mother who financially supported us with no help at all, yes that’s right my “doting father” that loved us so much did not contribute anything. Unfortunately still to this day, I am reminded of these stories because my mother is still harbouring un-forgiveness in her heart 22 years later. The point is I could hold major un-forgiveness towards him and so many others, but when I came to know God I learnt what it meant to walk in TOTAL freedom, released of ALL things PAST and born into ALL things NEW, I could do nothing but begin to forgive those that have hurt me, rejected me, laughed at me, bullied me, abused me and those who have made me feel worthless.
Sometimes we also have to learn to forgive ourselves; this has always been a major battle for me but over the years I have realised that as I learn who I am in Christ, only I have the power to overcome the negative thoughts, to overcome past mistakes and failures and to be released to walk in the fullness of my destiny! We are not perfect and whilst on this earth we are never going to be although believe, God wants to know what’s going on in your life “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy and loving kindness, O Lord, endure forever, forsake not the works of your own hands” Psalm 138:8, God loves you and ALWAYS wants the best for you!
Walking in forgiveness is now very much an active part of my life, you see I became a Christian when I was 21; my father is Pakistani and so was from a Muslim family. Once God had impressed upon my heart that I needed to tell him about my new found faith, I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy journey! I was correct, no sooner had I told him…he disowned me and said I was no longer his child. The funny thing is that I had already prepared myself for that and said to God, ‘you know what, if it takes a year, two years or twenty years, God I KNOW that you will bring him around, but right now God you are my father in heaven that can give me everything my father never has!’
For two years my father didn’t talk to me, he failed to continue to pay my university fees which resulted in me sleeping on sofa’s, getting another job and trying to complete my final year of uni all at the same time, which believe me wasn’t easy. However through the whole season, I never felt angry or hateful towards him, yes there are times when I felt upset and had the “why me” syndrome, but once I got engaged to a man at the time my father would not accept, I took the step of looking at him, face to face, deep in his eyes and speaking “I FORGIVE YOU“! It was for everything! I suddenly forgave him for all heart aches he had caused me previously, for the present and for the future! I felt light, no longer heavy burdened; I wanted to dance around the room! My heart and spirit once again felt happier than they had ever felt!
God is truly a God of restoration, now my dad, husband and I have a really good relationship, not to say he agrees with my faith, but I know deep down he can see his daughter is happy and at peace, things have truly changed but purely because I decided to ‘Let Go and Let God’. You see my daughter, what’s important in life, is what God has in store for you and what he says about you. People, situations and emotion will come and go, what God is concerned about is your relationship with him and YOU living out an abundant life of purpose.
Life is often referred to as a garden, if you don’t pull up the weeds from the roots then they can be covered over with soil but will soon start to grow through again. I urge you on your journey my darling, whatever your situation, however hard; to choose in your heart to always forgive.
Love you always,
Your Mumma xxx
Written by Yasmin Udugba
Tweet Me: @alwayslipo