My friends have always told me that my honesty is valued and refreshing. My mother constantly tells me that I’m ‘too honest for my own good’. Now I would never intentionally say anything to hurt anyone. My honesty is to help, not hurt. And I don’t think the issue is with my honesty, rather the delivery of said honesty.
There is a level of openness that I have with my friends that allows me, and my lack of a brain filter to run wild. This lack of a filter means I say what comes into my head. And yes, there have been moments where I could’ve chosen my words more carefully, but the relationship I have with my friends allow for these lapses in vocab choice. I guess when I’m around my elders or those that I don’t know well enough, I forget my surrounding and behave in the same way. And on reflection I can see how this can come across as rude.
So here are my tips on maintaining your honest streak without stepping on people’s toes:
Firstly, pick your moments. This means building what I like to call a “People Filter”. A filter you switch on dependant on who you’re with. It allows you can have no filter when you’re with your closest friends and have a steel filter when you go to your grandma’s house. It takes time to build but trust me it is well worth it. A good way to build it is by asking, “Can I be completely honest?” My friends and I call it a ‘Truth Moment’.
Secondly, try and make your honesty as objective as possible. I like to think I’ve got quite an analytical mind, which can see all sides and angles to a situation, and decipher the optimal solution – thank you Maths and Economics. This means I try to make my opinion as unbiased as possible, and I’ve found that people tend to respond better to that. People are more trusting of unbiased honesty as it is driven by fact and not emotion.
Finally, make sure your honesty comes from the right place. Too many times I’ve heard people use honesty as an excuse to tear people down. Honesty is meant to help people. It’s meant to make them re-evaluate and improve. And if you listen to your words and take your own advice it can help you too.
In conclusion, honesty is good if done right. Sometimes you will miss the mark, but if it comes from the right place, people will see that you were trying to help. Sometimes people’s delivery will be biting, but find the truth in it and use it to become a better you.
But that’s just the Honey Perspective
By Honey Gabriel