The Reason Behind the Decision:
I must admit to feeling nervous when I was asked to write an article with this title. I knew that to say anything of substance would mean being vulnerable on some level, because our generation needs more than a wishy-washy lecture about “true love waits” if we are to understand, let alone be strong in, our stance here – this is real life and the real world.
When I was younger I was led to believe that sexual purity meant scraping through your teenage years with your virginity intact for your wedding night. No wonder I struggled; there is absolutely nothing in that line to even make you desire purity, let alone empower you to live in it! If purity merely equals virginity, we reduce it to a rule with no meaning, power or even relevance in today’s society. Yes, the Bible does tell us to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18) but I have learnt that if you only use the Bible as rules to scrape by on, you are likely to fail. Instead we need to let it become what it’s meant to be, living and active. To live by rules without personal conviction is like living a half-life instead of embracing the full freedom that Jesus promises in the “life to the full” (John 10:10) that he offers to us.
My suggestion is this: purity begins way before sexual activity. Take a look at this.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
If everything we do flows from the heart, then surely we need to deal with purity there. Do I actually want to abstain from sex outside of marriage? Not really, and that’s why I’ll mess up if I only introduce purity as a rule that deals with the physical actions. But do I want to have a heart that’s pure and pursues God’s plan for me? You bet I do! And if I concentrate on keeping my heart pure, my actions will follow as a consequence of that decision.
You see, God doesn’t empower us to obey rules; he gives us grace to enable us to walk closely to him. Purity isn’t just sexual, but it expands over every other part of our lives too, and it’s not something we can achieve on our own. After all, we were born in sin so none of us can claim to be pure, except through Jesus! And all of us are made pure in him, regardless of our past. Sexual purity isn’t virginity, lost forever with one act; it’s the pursuit of having a heart that is after God. No one would ever say, “Oh I lied today, that’s it I’ll never be pure again” but for some reason we do that with virginity, when in actual fact there are plenty of virgins who aren’t pursuing purity out there. Virginity is important, but it’s not the full picture.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 (NIV)
I don’t know about you, but my response to this is that I want nothing more than a heart that pursues God, and that affects every part of my life. Does that make it easy? Course not! (Stay tuned for what this looks like practically in part 2!) But it sure changes things when sexual purity stops being a legalistic battle and instead becomes a conviction of the heart.
By Yemisi Joy