We all go through phases and life doesn’t always pan out how we’d like it to. Sometimes we pour all our efforts into something that just doesn’t come off or sometimes life throws us a curveball. But I think there’s a lot to be said for learning to love all the seasons life throws at us.
Making positive decisions is not always easy- least of all when you are at your most vulnerable and trying to readjust following a recent crisis. Similarly the hangover of a really positive life event such as the end of a honeymoon period of a new relationship or coming back from an amazing holiday can make you question and doubt a lot in your life. So how do you regain and maintain focus and perspective through the ups and downs in life? Here are my tips.
LIVE & LEARN
I truly believe you can learn just as much about yourself when you are at your happiest as when you are down in the dumps, stuck in a valley. Your reaction to stress, the way you celebrate and the types of things that get you down should all tell you whether you are an impulsive decision maker, an emotional eater or spender, someone with an addictive personality or a well-balanced individual. Learn to analyse yourself effectively- not neurotically and relentlessly a la Bridget Jones. If you find it hard to be objective enlist the help of a trusted friend and ally.
CELEBRATE! DON’T COMPARE
This is advice one of my best friends gave me and advice I try to live by. We women are consistently far too hard on ourselves. The compulsion to compare seems to overwhelm women the world over of all ages, shapes, and sizes. The internalization of this habit seems to occur at a younger and younger age. But harnessing the power of celebrating with people whilst managing not to compare yourself to people is empowering and incredibly freeing. Learn to stop seeing other people’s triumphs as a personal failing in yourself and recognise instead what you are bringing to the table.
PREPARE FOR THE CLIMB & THE DESCENT
The climb is the bit that hurts. The burn you feel when you’ve had enough of a pity party and finally decide to get on with it. It often feels overwhelming and impossible. But mountains can be scaled, giants can be overcome. Whatever it may be- debt, addiction, relationship breakdown, career devastation or loss, deciding to move on is brave and takes courage. Getting sound advice here is key. Remember also that moving on up comes with the potential of always sliding back down. There is no shame in a little backsliding- taking him back, respending that overdraft or whatever. Everyone makes mistakes and beating yourself up about it will never help.
Getting support is crucial but remember people will let you down- they are not infallible. In fact, if infallible is what you want then God’s your guy. He has promised to never leave or forsake us. He’s there to support us in our climbs, catch us when we fall, celebrate on the mountaintops with us patiently and faithfully help us through the valleys. Learning to be happy in all seasons of your life requires a perspective and awareness of the varied and unpredictable nature of life.
Everyone goes through tough times but it is these times that push you to build up endurance and stamina and this is where you will grow as a person most. And when everything seems to finally be going right is the perfect time to train and prepare for the next little speed bump life’ll throw your way. The times when you feel on top of the world are what will keep you going and spur you on so hold on to them. Ultimately the best plan of attack in all seasons of life is to get support, get perspective and get on with it!
Written by Sara Bennett
TweetMe @Sarallam
Check out her personal blog HERE