Let’s face it. Sometimes it’s plain to see when a relationship won’t work between two people when we just observe. But have you been falling for a Mr. Wrong without realising?
5. Love or lust?
There is a quote that reads “The desire of love is to give. The desire of lust is to get.” This wraps up the difference between love and lust perfectly. If a guy only looks at you because of your body and sees nothing else, you should know this is wrong. Let me put it this way. Would you be comfortable allowing him to see you in tracksuit without make up? Truth of the matter is, he shouldn’t just like the way you look, but also he should like the person you are. Don’t be deceived by a smooth talker. Make sure he’s genuine first.
4. ‘He even doesn’t talk to me’
Communication is absolutely necessary not just with relationships between couples, but also in everyday friendships and colleagues you may meet. Therefore it is important that this guy communicates with you regularly. You need to know where the two of you will stand, and you also need to ensure that if there are any issues that’ll arise, the two of you can talk it out rather than deliver silent treatment.
3. Where’s the respect?
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Aretha Franklin sang this song with pride and so should you. If yo man don’t treat you right, it is a big NO area! Lack of respect may not be as blatant as say, domestic violence or cheating, but there are signs at the beginning that you can notice so things won’t escalate to that level. How does he act when the two of you are with a group of friends? Does he act in a way that portrays you as a trophy to show off to his mates? Does he casually fling derogatory words when referring to you? If so, think long and hard whether this is really the right man for you. Chances are, if he treats you badly, you may begin to find yourself putting up with rubbish. You’re worth much more than you think!
2. ‘I’m not keen on his mates though’
It’s also very important that you and his mates get along. If not, this can lead you eventually isolating him from his friends, which won’t benefit the relationship. View his mates as your brothers or peers. Once everyone gets along, it’s much happier, and the two of you become more established
1. Fundamental beliefs
I think one of the most important thing it comes down to when considering a relationship is to ask yourself if the two of you share the same or similar views on life. I mean, obviously it’s not bad for you to support different football teams! But I’m going much deeper than that. If you are a person of faith, you may not agree with some approaches to life. You also wouldn’t want to fall for someone who believes women should be treated in a way that is inferior to men. To avoid this, it’s better to find someone who shares your belief system.
Written by Chinazum Ukata
Tweet Me @chinny___