Some of my friends call me the relationship guru. I am the one they go to with all their relationship questions and problems. Considering I have never been an actual relationship, it baffles them when what I tell them to try/do actually works. First-hand experience isn’t the only way to understand relationships.
I have had a couple of ‘interested parties’ over the years, but none that were serious. My love life has never been a major focal point for me. It is what it is. And to be honest as of now, it is non-existent.
My friends say I’m single because I don’t know how to hide my crazy and that scares men away. The flaw in that statement is that I meet no men anyway, so who am I going to scare!? My aunts’ always ask if I have a boyfriend yet and my simple reply is no. The not so simple reply is: Your sister rarely lets me go out so how am I to meet said boyfriend!? My mum keeps telling me to go to a church with young men. I love my church, I’m not changing to find a husband. Church is where I go to connect with God, not men.
I’ve been listening to the immensely talented Tori Kelly, who is open about her faith and love for Christ. ‘Dear No One’ is my life in a song. In this song she describes how she prefers to be alone and independent. But on the other hand, she wants someone to hold, and give her his jacket when it’s cold. And knowing that “God’ll give him to me someday”, she writes a love song to him, whomever he may be, promising him her heart and love. But until then, she’ll wait patiently for God to bring him to her.
And that is the stance I have taken on my non-existent love life. Maybe it’s non-existent for a reason. Maybe I’m not ready. It requires commitment, work and time. Not to say that if the opportunity presents itself I will turn it away, but as I sit here in my armchair writing this, listening to Dear No One, I feel a sense of excitement that I can sleep like a starfish in my double bed knowing I won’t be kicking someone. I’m slightly relieved that I don’t have the responsibility of holding another’s heart and someone holding mine, as I’ve seen hearts break and I would hate to feel that way or cause someone else to feel that way.
I have had front row seats to almost every kind of relationship, and have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen what makes a relationship work, and what makes it fail. And through some miracle, God has given me the grace and wisdom to help those around me in this area. I just pray I put all my advice into practice when it’s my turn.
So Dear No One, if you are right around the corner, I don’t promise to be perfect, or to stop being obsessed with Minions, but I do promise to be good to you. So until we meet, here’s your love song:
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