I remember having a conversation a few years ago with a friend of mine and we spoke about the tragic way in which many Christians over-spiritualise things, to the point where they’re not real and hide behind “religion” instead of saying how it really is. It can be so easy to read the accounts in the gospels of the Pharisees in particular and be disgusted at the way that they conducted themselves in pretence and fakery. Meanwhile, not seeing how in the 21st century, we can lie in danger of repeating their behaviour—namely acting very religious but deep down having dubious heart intentions. Being a Christian is not merely about honouring God with our lips but having our hearts far from Him or just saying the right things. It is, has and always will be a heart issue.
So, in what follows, I have provided a translation from Christianese (the choice language amongst Christians) into normal every day talk. Before I begin, it is worth saying that of course many (but not all) of the statements outlined as Christianese can be genuine and heartfelt, so this is by no means a blanket condemnation of such phrases. However, it is good to examine ourselves and make sure that we are saying what we really mean—not just what sounds super holy.
1. CHRISTIANESE: “Sister X, I can sense in the Spirit that you’re a beautiful woman of God.”
TRANSLATION: “Hey baby! You are looking foiiiine!”
2. CHRISTIANESE: “I felt an unction from the Lord to approach you.”
TRANSLATION: “Man’s feelin’ you, still.”
3. CHRISTIANESE: “The Lord said you’re going to be my wife.”
TRANSLATION: “I have decided that I wanna make you my wife. End of. Don’t say no.”
4. CHRISTIANESE: “My spirit just doesn’t agree with her.”
TRANSLATION: “I think she’s a cow.”
When asked to do something…
5. CHRISTIANESE: “I’ll pray about it”
TRANSLATION: “No, I’m not really feeling it, but I’ll pretend that I am considering it”
6. CHRISTIANESE: “I’m still waiting on the Lord.”
TRANSLATION: “The answer is still no.”
7. CHRISTIANESE: “I’ll pray for you.”
TRANSLATION: “I could actually practically help you in your need, let me just sound spiritual instead.”
8. CHRISTIANESE: “The Lord told me…”
TRANSLATION: “I am going to add weight to my own opinion by bringing God into it, I’m sure He’d agree with me anyway…”
9. CHRISTIANESE: “God forgive me but…”
TRANSLATION: “…I’m just about to say something I really shouldn’t say at all.”
10. CHRISTIANESE: “No-one’s perfect, God knows my heart.”
TRANSLATION: “I will continue to make excuses as to why I’m not going to change or be changed.”
And there you have it! The top ten hot phrases in we Christians use… Until next time!
Written by Kazstarlet
TweetMe @kazstarlet
Check out her personal blog HERE