Two years ago, seemingly out of the blue, I developed a condition that completely rocked my world and changed my life as I knew it. Whilst I am much better than I was when I first got it, it is still a journey that I walk with God on a day-to-day basis. Would I have chosen this path for myself? Not in a gazillion years, but God—in His grace and mercy—has allowed me to learn several important lessons through the tears and fire. Namely:
1. Only God really understands.
As in really understands. I would try to explain to people how I felt and would be frustrated that they just didn’t get it. Or worse still, they would offer misguided empathy (side note: you can never know EXACTLY how someone feels because you are not them, selah), which highlighted that they didn’t understand what was happening at all. I don’t blame anyone for this, because man’s frailty only further highlighted God’s ability to handle all my worries, feelings and stuff. I was and continue to deal with a God who totally knows everything about me and my thoughts—even before I think them (Psalm 139:1-6). He gets it, He gets me. Better than I even get myself. Letting that truth sink in soothed my feelings of isolation and frustration.
2. The Bible does not exist to merely tickle my intellect
For me to quote verbatim. The claims and promises it makes demand a response. It is far more than an interesting book that I pick up and read—it is what I am putting my very life upon. It is what enables me to stand and not completely give into crippling fear or despair (Isaiah 41:10). It was written by the God of hope (Romans 15:13). Most critically for me, if God’s word ‘had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction’ (Psalm 119:92). That much I do know.
3. God, in His kindness, uses people to be vessels of His love.
Before I got ill, the thought of having to rely on anyone was a foreign concept. I kinda got it, but didn’t think it was really for me—especially when I could do things all by myself. But, I soon found that it was okay to not always try to be strong and have everything (or anything) together. In fact, my weakness and distress highlighted the compassion that people can have when they are given the opportunity to be so. You soon discover who are the ride-or-die people are in your life when everything goes belly up.
4. I’ve got to take it one day at a time.
I’m really glad that I didn’t know two years ago that at this stage, I would still be battling with my health. As in hands-in-the-air-and-praising-Jesus glad. He knows what we can handle and He knew that I didn’t have the inner minerals to handle such knowledge. The truth is, whilst we’re on this earth, it’s probably best we don’t know everything that’s around the corner. I have resolved to ask the Father for my daily bread and not worry about tomorrow—because often today is all that I can really handle, speak less of the unknowns of tomorrow.
5. New Creation is where it’s at.
The Bible describes a place where there will be no more death, no more pain and no more crying (Revelation 21:4). What’s more, those who have put their trust in the saving power of Christ will get upgraded bodies—the bodies we have now are like tents (2 Corinthians 5:2). I don’t know about you, but I am not a lover of camping—because I prefer solid walls, central heating and generally not being so wildly close to nature and insects. So for me, the image of this body that I have now being like a tent reassures me that what is to come is going to be WAY better. The sufferings of the present time (whatever they might be) are just not worthy to be compared with the glory that will be revealed to us (Romans 8:18). So until that time, I resolve that whether I go through the fire or valley, whether I cry or feel pain—I am going to keep my eyes on the One who sustains me in the here and now, and the One who has promised a better future beyond this world.
Written by Kazstarlet
Tweet me @kazstarlet