Valentine’s Day is lurking around the corner, National Marriage Week has just passed us and if ever there was a time for the singletons amongst us to either be grabbing the kleenex or burying their heads in the sick bucket its about now. I kid, of course, both are great its about being happy right?
Yet Valentines day can be a very unhappy and lonely time for many, both single and married. You can be married and be the loneliest person in the world and what should have been awesome has become a prison sentence.
Romantic love is temporary and should mature into what the Bible calls ‘agape‘ the greek word for love that means deep and unconditional – 365 days and 24/7, it don’t stop. With break ups happening all around us how can we ensure that we live happily ever after instead of it all ending in tears?
How do we know if this love will last longer than the Wedding cake? Well as a member of the married club let me give you some insider tips on how to prepare as best as possible for one of the wildest adventures in your life….
5. KNOW YOUR MOTIVES!
People get married for many different reasons including love, but even that is not enough. You need to search your heart and ask yourself why am I doing this and can I see myself with this person in 5,10,15 years down the line? Its best to have a shared vision in life with goals and aspirations that go beyond the day and wearing that perfect designer dress. If your motives aren’t right then the whole marriage tumbles like a house of cards or the game Jenga; except this isn’t a game and you both get hurt. Marriage is not about feeling good but something bigger than the both of you, so think before you leap..
4. BE UNTIED THEN UNITED!
Believe it or not but people have married whilst being in love with someone else. Unfinished business should never enter into a marriage and its better to put to death any emotional ties with another long before becoming someones spouse. After doing this you are free to be united with the one whom you will share life with. GOD blesses two people who have tied themselves together in unity, they can then face the world as an unstoppable team. Think Mr and Mrs Smith.
3. WHOLE NOT HALF!
Two halves don’t make a whole, they make two broken pieces trying to stick back together again! If you think you have a missing piece you need to go find it first before getting into marriage. Only GOD completes us and trying to put that pressure on another human being is insane, that persons is just as flawed as you. Be the best YOU possible, invest in yourself, be happy and content in the Lord and you will be the best gift possible to some one special instead of a vampire of the soul sucking their life away. And in spite of what Twilight says, vampires aren’t romantic.
2. STUDY LOVE!
It sounds strange, but without study and revision you are destined to FAIL even in the love game. We all think that we are the first people to fall in love or the first to have hard times in a relationship when neither are true. Read a good book on marriage, watch videos, talk to veterans and seek counselling with your minister. Hey, even rent out Tyler Perry’s ‘Why Did I Get Married?’. The best start you can have to married bliss is to read the instructions; after all you wouldn’t get in a car and drive without taking lessons or passing your test right?
And finally….
1. LOVE FOR FREE!
How did Christ love the church? He died for it and asked for little in return. We should be like him in our relationships by loving people without expecting much from them. If you can’t do that don’t get married as that person doesn’t exist to make you happy. In fact that person may make you unhappy at times just by breathing. If you can learn to love that person even when you don’t ‘feel it’ then you’ve PASSED. Like fire, love needs a lot of fuel to burn and the fuel of love is security. Be there for them and they should be there for you, in sickness and in health.
The NUMBER 0 of the 5 tips (i’m cheating I know) should be obvious but just incase its not; PRAY, PRAY and PRAY some more to make sure that GOD is in this adventure and to ask for He’s direction. Now, off to the chocolate shop and MUST. PICK. UP. FLOWERS. ON. ROUTE
Written By Antony Aris-Osula
TweetMe: @coconutprince