Soon after all the Christmas presents have been opened and you’ve loosened your post-turkey belt buckle a few notches, television screens in every home will become inundated with ads promising the next miracle weight loss program, or the latest nicotine patch to help you finally kick that smoking monkey off your shoulder. As 2012 draws to a close, people all over the world will reflect on the highs and lows, achievements and failures, and joys and regrets of past year.
Few people can look forward to the future and think, “I’m totally on track”. Anyone with any sound judgment knows that there’s always room for improvement, which is admirable and definitely recommended. The plethora of self-help books, TV shows, and conferences are evidence of that. However, if you aren’t careful, those simple desires to improve and avoid making the mistakes of the past can overwhelm you, spiraling you into a sea of regrets, low self-worth, and putting yourself down.
Here are a few things to keep in mind as you reflect on 2012, and look forward to the coming year:
DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF
There may be one thing, or even several things that you did or didn’t do in 2012 that you either regret, or wish you could re-do. Truth is, the past is the past, and you can’t go back and change anything. That may sound terribly disheartening, but people have to learn to take it easy. The great King Solomon, the wisest, richest man of his time had this to say in his last days as he reflected on his illustrious life, “A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God” (Ecc. 2: 24 NIV). So, give yourself some grace, and know that at the end of the day, God wants you to enjoy the gift of life that He has given you, and although it’s great to look back at ways you can improve, it’s not the end of the world if things didn’t go absolutely perfectly in 2012.
FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS
The most fool-proof way of avoiding regrets in any given year, month, or day, is to focus on what really matters in this world. I recently attended a funeral for friend’s father who was an amazing example of a man of God. He had built a strong family and had dedicated his life to serving the Lord as a Pastor, travelling the world preaching the Gospel. Loving your family, friends, and people around you, and serving God with your gifts and talents is really what matters at the end of the day. For King Solomon, he had everything he could ever want or need in life—wealth, power, fame, relationships, but all of that was found futile as he looked back and wished he’d lived more for God than the accumulation of all his worldly possessions.
BE SPECIFIC AND REALISTIC
A few years ago, around this time of year, I sat in my bed, journal in hand, and wrote down all my resolutions for the coming year. The list went something like this:
- Drink 8 glasses of water a day
- Go for a run every morning at 6 am
- Cut out Coke
- Put 50% of pay cheque into savings account
Although admirable and ambitious, this list was highly unrealistic for a non-morning person such as myself, who hates running, loves Coke, and was a University student at the time making just enough money from her part-time job to buy groceries and text books.
I’ve learned that a much more realistic way of achieving any given goal is to be specific about one area of your life that you would like to see improvement in, rather than attempting to change several things about yourself, and morph into a super-human. For some this may mean getting your health and fitness in order, or your finances, or your relationship with someone, or maybe even your relationship with God. Either way, do one thing at a time, and do it well.
SEEK COUNSEL AND ACCOUNTABILITY
Along the way, you can often feel discouraged and not sure where to begin when setting and reaching goals. Make sure you tell a friend or family member you trust to keep you accountable. Also, it’s wise to get professional advice and help before and during the whole process, especially if you have fitness or financial goals. Start things off right.
DUST YOURSELF OFF AND TRY AGAIN
You aren’t perfect, and never will be—sorry to burst your bubble. There are going to be numerous occasions when you decide to sleep in rather than get up and work out, or end up buying yourself that iPad rather than save your money. Too often people set up these lofty, unrealistic goals, only to mess up, and give up entirely. Leave yourself room to mess up, but learn to get back in the game sooner rather than later.
Whatever you 2012 looked like for you, remember that as long as you have breath in your lungs, you can keep moving forward. Don’t dwell on the past, but learn from it. Rather than all the things you shoulda, coulda, woulda done in 2012, focus on what you’re gonna do in 2013.
Written by Octavia Ahsan
Tweet Her: @OctaviaFaith or @ThePODIUMTweets