So I’m at my connect group’s social a couple of weeks ago, and as always, the topic of discussion quickly turned to relationships. A very heated debate started on the question: Is it okay for women to make the first move?
The no camp was trying to justify their argument using all kinds of biblical references especially the old chestnut of “A man should pursue a woman”. I had to chime in, I told them they missed the difference between making the first move and pursuit; they are not the same thing. The dictionary’s definition of pursuit is “An effort to secure or attain”.
I’m not going to lie, I do believe a man should pursue a woman, but women, it’s okay for us to get the ball rolling and make the first move. We’ve been doing it since biblical times!
I’m a big fan of a relationship coach called Matthew Hussey. Now Matt doesn’t look at relationships from a biblical or Christian view point, but he does give very sound and practical advice. In one of his videos he talks about how he dislikes when women say they are old fashioned and want a guy to approach them. His response is that they are clearly not old-fashioned women because in the ‘olden days’ a woman would walk past a man she liked on the street and drop her handkerchief. The man would look at the handkerchief as an opportunity to be a hero, pick it up and walk over to the lady; a conversation would then begin. In this instance the man thinks he’s making the first move by picking up the handkerchief and approaching the woman, but the woman made the first move by dropping her handkerchief; she chose him.
In Ruth 3 vs. 3-8, we see Naomi tell Ruth to wash and anoint herself and sit at the feet of Boaz. Ruth (well technically Naomi) chose Boaz. If making herself pretty and sitting at Boaz’s feet isn’t Ruth making the first move, then I don’t know what is!? Now remember it was Boaz who then pursued Ruth, but she gave him the signal that she was interested. Making the first move is just that, a signal that you are interested.
Most guys won’t admit it, but they have the same fear women do when it comes to getting rejected. Why not make life a little easier and calm their nerves by giving them the green light to start a conversation. Go over to them, say hi, smile, show positive and open body language. But don’t be disheartened if they don’t respond. There’s someone out there who will respond. But you have to employ this openness with everyone otherwise you might miss the chance to connect with someone.
But this is just the Honey Perspective… Love x
By Honey Gabriel