LTMD EXCLUSIVE: 5 REASONS YOU SHOULD STAY SINGLE

Daughter dearest,

I have not written in a while, you know a proper letter with folded paper and placed in an envelope (matching envelope please), sealed with a stamp (correct postage) in the right hand corner of the envelope (and not up-side-down) kind of letter!  I like the world of instant; Blackberry messengers, facetime, twitter, and facebook …but a letter…this will be one of the many I will be writing…it is my pledge to you  (nay it is my pledge to myself).

I was at the grocery store today and on offer were instant oats in all varieties and flavours. I settled for the long cooking one as there’s nothing like soaking the oats in water with a pinch of salt (the way your Nana taught me) and then on low heat, simmering…the smell…the warmth! Then poured into a bowl and sprinkled with cinnamon and brown sugar. It’s the preparation….

And now to your question, ‘Mother give me 5 reasons why I should remain single?’ It’s the preparation!

I remember the words of the old Diana Ross and the Supremes song ‘you can’t hurry love, you just have to wait….’ I may not have 5 reasons but I do know that you are beautiful, a treasure and a gift, God’s gift…I know this, but do you know this? Do you believe this…? At this time of your life you are being divinely prepared, all that you are and even going through is preparing you for LIFE…whether as a single young lady or a married one.

Are you enjoying the preparation…? Are you being the best you? You for your Lord? You for yourself? Your singleness is a gift….a wonderful gift of God’s grace…a time for you to know you, discover you, love you…..and don’t get me wrong I am not saying that you cannot be YOU in a relationship, but so many women go into a relationship looking for the other person to ‘define’ them. I long for you Child to embrace your singleness and for the Lord’s Glory to come through… in every area; the vocation you chose, your creativity, in play and recreation, even in the hard places of life.

Another November, for it was in November my husband died and I too died, died to my ideal life but then came alive again.

I went on ‘exeat’ to Chelsea yesterday. Popping into my favourite shops. The shop windows are such a delight, not shopping (I lie, I did buy one or two things) but just browsing on Kings Road, hopping on the bus at the Duke of York Square and off again. I treated myself to a cuppa (chai latte with soya milk, extra hot and a sprinkling of cinnamon). I bought myself lunch at the Stockpot and I wondered if ‘Johnny English’ was showing yet at the Odeon for I will come and see it alone and laugh alone!!!!! I wondered in Anthropologie, bought some soap and browsed through some books. A title grabbed me ‘The Happiness Project’ hmmm wonder what that is about? In the middle of musings and browsing it occurred to me I have been a single woman for 15 years, having been previously married for 17 years. Almost half and half! Can I honestly look at my 17 years of being married and claim they were better that the 15 years of being single…? NO, not better, both gifts…it was Elizabeth Elliot through her books (some of the books are no longer in print) like ‘Loneliness’ and ‘Let me be Woman’ that I discovered (funny I read most of her books when I was married) that ‘singleness is a gift…. and daughter dearest I pray you will fully live, embrace and appreciate your ‘gift’.

With all my love always

Mother x

Written by Pastor Abby Olufeyimi

If you want to listen to this letter, please click the link below:

LTMD Podcast: 5 Reasons You Should Stay Single by Milk And Honey Media